If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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