Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Randomize
