lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
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