I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
