K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
