update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
