I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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