do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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