Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
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