new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize