Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
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I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information