The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am