I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
29 Petty People Reveal The Shallow Reasons They Turned Someone Down
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?