On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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