you turned your livingroom into a bong?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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