What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
