You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Randomize
