Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
