It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Sorry my hands just texted you
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
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