I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
