does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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