Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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