Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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