he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
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As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
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