dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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