I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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