bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
