Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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