Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
