Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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