they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
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