names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
