This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
