then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
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