"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
zippers are such a cool invention
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
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