pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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