we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
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