Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
