it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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