we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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