put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
