I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
