dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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