brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
My hand turned me down
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
