im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize
