ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
