I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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