I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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