No stitches, just platelets and will power
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
