worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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