You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
i think i have herpe
just one?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
