That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
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i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
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I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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