You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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