Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
