i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Enjoy the penises
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Randomize
