would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
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you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.