I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
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ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
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