2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.