Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.

(416): View more from Ontario

Apparently you chose the latter.

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(703): View more from Virginia

I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.

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(503): View more from Oregon

I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.

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(860): View more from Connecticut

I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.

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If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
Read it at the TFLN blog
(518): View more from New York

i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday

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(404): View more from Georgia

She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint

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(425): View more from Washington

WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!

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(406): View more from Montana

So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together

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(815): View more from Illinois

I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.

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