So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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